Gratitude is Seeing the Miracle in Every Moment.

Monday, January 13, 2014

How to Win Friends and Influence People- Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want

"He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way"

It is my personal belief that the key to making relationships of any kind work in the most pleasant of manner, is to put thoughts of self aside and think first and always primarily about what you can do to make the other person happy. Do what pleases them, serve them first. I'm not saying to cater to their every whim, because that would be giving in to an abusive and destructive relationship on varying levels. What I am saying, is a less selfish attitude, where personal thoughts and desires are simply to serve instead of receive would prove a productive form of interpersonal relations. An in the case of winning oneself friend and influencing people in a way that benefits you, it can be necessary to "bait the hook to suit the fish". -Lloyd George, Great Britain Prime Minister. In other words, talk about what THEY want and show them how to get it. And don't preach.

Further on in this segment of reading, we are encouraged to be a people pleaser on our own terms.

"Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire... and the best piece of advise which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way." -Harry A. Overstreet, Influencing Human Behavior

 Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before your speak, pause and ask yourself: "How can I make this person want to do it?" That question will stop us from rushing into a situation heedlessly, with futile chatter about our desires.

"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as your own." -Henry Ford

The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. Let's consider this statement for a moment and apply it to a couple of life situations, I know I'm not alone in experiencing. As a young single person in my late twenty-somethings, I have two major thoughts on my mind at a near constant rate; 1- How can I best alter my relationship status and 2- How do I climb the corporate ladder at a successful and speedy rate? One question revolves around that of personal satisfaction and the other of a professional, however both involve interaction with other people. What if I were to apply this very principle of serving others to both scenarios? And not just occasionally…. I mean quite literally, regularly.

Would it be safe to assume that by being the woman who considers first what her romantic partners are desiring, that in turn I would solidify a monogamous relationship at some point? Is the logic sound in thinking that by showcasing how my abilities, talents, preferences, opinions and beliefs best benefit a potential life partner and their long term goals, dreams and aspirations that I too would gain what I seek?

I think I've reached, what was often termed in my younger college years, an "ah-ha!" moment. And I feel a change in the wind.

"People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them." -Owen D. Young

Boom! The people; others, come first. I coin that idea with a phrase I learned very early in my missionary service some years ago: "Love the people more".


In a nutshell, I've gleaned some main points of information over the past three blog postings that should be re-iterated as the "Fundamental Techniques in Handling People":

Principle 1- Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

Principle 2- Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Principle 3- Arouse in the other person an eager want.

No comments:

Post a Comment