Gratitude is Seeing the Miracle in Every Moment.

Friday, January 24, 2014

How to Win Friends and Influence People: Part 2- Six Ways to Make People Like You "Become Genuinely Interested in Other People"

 Dale Carnegie begins his teachings of this segment by encouraging us to treat others as man's best friend does. He includes the thought that you can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. 

What a concept! If only every person the world over was driven by this logic! You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. 

I also like how direct Mr. Carnegie states, "If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way."

"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring." -Alfred Adler, Viennese Psychologist

As I read this chapter or enlightened knowledge, so pointedly instructing and factual, I can't help but relate it to the teachings of the world's greatest teacher, who said: "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so for them." (King James Bible- Matthew 7:12) In other words, if you want to be treated with respect, admiration and acknowledgement for your good works, achievements and fruits of your labor, do so first to those you interact with and the response will be the same in your favor.

If we want to make friends, let's put ourselves out to do things for other people--things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness... if we want to make friends, let's greet people with animation and enthusiasm. I'm brought to a consideration of how it felt to be greeted by my friends in the Polynesian culture. It may not be animated or enthusiastic in the way a some might perceive. But in a very real sense, that animation of joy and the enthusiasm of greeting those they care for is genuine. A typical greeting is in the form of a hug and/or a kiss on the cheek. They bring you into their "ohana" each time. What a novel thought, that all cultures and people should try to emulate. One might ponder upon how welcome and how appreciated others would feel if such an action were mainstream. Which leads me to Mr. Carnegie's next thought:

A show of interest, as with every other principle of human relations, must be sincere. It must pay off not only for the person showing the interest, but for the person receiving the attention. It is a two-way street--both parties benefit.

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